تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (111) - Day 29.

Day 29: Allah knows. :) 

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (110) - Day 17.

Day 17: Trying new things to keep myself busy, avoid crying, and pause the overthinking .. My first experience to bake and it was still delicious and edible. 

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (109) - Day 16.

Day 16: This made me laugh in the midst of the hardship we are going through. I will definitely hang this somewhere in my cubicle. Leadership 101: Delegate the least important tasks .. 

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (108) - Day 15.

Day 15: you can’t control everything around you .. just breathe, don’t think, and have faith .. 

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (107) - Day 14.

Day 14: وَمَا كَانَ اللَّهُ لِيُعْجِزَهُ مِن شَيْءٍ فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَلَا فِي الْأَرْضِ ۚ إِنَّهُ كَانَ عَلِيمًا قَدِيرًا ..

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (106) - Day 13.

Day 13: وَخُلِقَ الْإِنْسَانُ ضَعِيفاً ... ‎اللهم الثبات ..

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (105) - Day 12.

Day 12: فصبرٌ جميل .. :’)

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (104) - Day 0.

Day 0: إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ خُلِقَ هَلُوعاً * إِذَا مَسَّهُ الشَّرُّ جَزُوعاً * وَإِذَا مَسَّهُ الْخَيْرُ مَنُوعاً * إِلَّا الْمُصَلِّينَ * الَّذِينَ هُمْ عَلَى صَلَاتِهِمْ دَائِمُونَ .. ‎

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (103) - Feeling down (2).

And in a glimpse of an eye, you get to feel how easily your life can easily collapse. الدوام لله وحده. A scary thought, a scarier feeling, and even much worse when you know you are all on your own. And you experience how can everyone give up on you but الله سبحانه وتعالي. And since then you learnt to be quite selfish, cause you now know that no one gives a shit about you but you .. :')

‎‪#lessonslearntthehardway ‫#تخاريف ‫#خليك_اناني_محدش_باقيلك #supportneeded

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (102) - Dare to Share.

I just came across the engagement news of the infamous fashion blogger and producer "Hadia Ghaleb." The amount of social media attention in her post about her fiancee and before that her trending hashtag #whatishappeninghadia , is hysterical. How come we allowed someone as her become the teenage gals role model? 

What is wrong with our society, and since when social media has become such an integral part of our lives to an extent we would lose our faith and confidence because we don't have or look the same as those people we see in the pictures? Why would everyone suddenly feel compelled or rather obsessed with sharing every single personal news or picture or update of theirs? I am not sure if I am the only one who noticed the fast growing number of friends who are dying to prove to each other that their lives are awesome and perfect with no flaws? or the ones who are trying to reassure themselves that they are being loved and liked by posting even more pictures and personal updates? It feels like social media is more of a tool to regain confidence in our selves and our lives, than being a tool of connecting people to each other. 

What happened to personal space, privacy, the beauty of sharing secrets only with your best friend, the beauty of surprise parties, or even the closeness and warmth of family and sharing each other's news in family gatherings and dish parties? What is the beauty of sharing everything about you with everyone? I am just curious cause for a moment I felt like commenting to a friend "I swear I don't care. I don't need to know nor I want to. Keep your news special to your closed ones who deserve to know." I feel like my news feed is bombarded with none sense, and my personal space is being ripped off. I'd rather hide almost everyone from appearing on my home page, or otherwise deactivate this damn Facebook and Instagram thing for good. This is becoming insane! 😐

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (101) - Feeling down (1).

With the few unfortunate events happening to me lately, would anyone care to share some positive news before I become depressed, whether political, social, personal, cultural, ... ANYTHING?!! Even the media, series, news, stories of friends around, and people amongst us are all quite negative, unfair or completely passive lately. It makes me angry. And just when I am about to recover from my feelings of anxiety, I read another depressing story that makes me collapse and turn into a sadder person who would freak out even more. That peace inside is never meant to last; isn't it? I feel like the world is becoming a very sad place to live in - never as I expected it to be like. It never fails to let me down. Growing old sucks big time! :/

#تخاريف #SupportNeeded

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (100) - For the love of coffee.

So, it happens that my 100th post on my blog would be about the drink I love the most; coffee.  Karma is a b**** indeed!!

The story begins that this Ramadan, I have been trying to cut my coffee intake. The withdrawal symptoms are shitty as hell. I decided to practice some self-control and decided to cut coffee completely for the month. It's only now that I understand how much it really does affect my mood and my day in general! I miss my morning cup of coffee so bad. It not about the caffeine at all. It was the only part of my day when I can take few moments just for myself and feel good about the world. The only time I feel I can pamper myself without having to wait for someone to take me for a good treat. I ain't need no body - coffee will take care of it all. :) Each day of the past week or two, passed so slowly to the extent I lost interest in almost everything and everyone around me. I could barely recognize who I am. The one who has always been an inquisitive, energetic and positive reader is now the laziest coach potato the world could have ever known. I sleep like crazy, my head was about to explode more than once from the headache, my concentration level was zero by the end of the working day, and I avoided to take pills for my headache almost most of the days as I hate medications. My morning cup of coffee was one of those little things that could still light up the darkest moments of my day. It just had the power to lift me up so I can get my shit together, forget I can be a coach potato and get through another bad day with a big fat fake smile on my face. :) 

The thing is, my sister still cares, loves me and knows me too well more than anyone else around me - even after being hitched. And when I asked her today on her way out, she didn't hesitate a second to buy me the best cup of coffee I had since long time ago. And not just that, she got me my favorite large cafe mocha from Starbucks and also a decaf one so I don't ruin my efforts to cut down my coffee intake. YES, THOSE SMALL GESTURES MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE. It is lovely to know someone outside cares and knows those little things that just makes you happy. Isn't she the sweetest person you could ever know? :)

#coffee #ramadan #coffeenight #insomnia #تخاريف #lifewithoutcoffeehasnomeaning#thankyouraghda #fortheloveofcoffee#26goingon70

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (99) - سوبر هيروز إيجيشان ستايل.

We are superheroes wallah!!  -_-

Nowadays, having a Facebook or Twitter account is quite stressful; being an Egyptian is beyond difficult; and living in Egypt is a tough test. Now having the trilogy of (i) being an Egyptian, (ii) who lives in Egypt and (iii) still manage to have a FB or Twitter account, is the most catastrophic ordeal an ordinary person can go through. It is jihad nafs in itself - a superpower. May Allah help us, Amen!

This is becoming too much. It feels like people can only breath on social media. How desperate?!

I can't take this. I get stressed and even depressed easily. Actions talk louder than words, and we literally do none. We watch in silence everything being screwed up, yet smile, clap and move on. Many still believe there is hope. Well I am not sure where they get it from, while we live among a majority that still think injustice is okay.

I did this before but relapsed. I'll start to unfollow or hide everyone talking Egyptian politics, maybe I can turn sane or otherwise shallow again.

⁧#تخاريف⁩ #تقوقع

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (98) - الشدائد كاشِفة.

فلطالما كانت الشدائد كاشِفة عن معادن الناس دوماً، تبين حقيقتها، وتظهر كامن صفاتها، فقد تعرف انساناً لسنوات أو لفترات طويلة جداً، ولا تتضح لك منه صفاته، فإذا مرت الشدائد ظهرت صفاته، وتجلي معدنه وأصله، ووضحت تفاصيله، وبانت علاماته منها كوضوح الشمس خلال النهار. وكما أن الشدائد كاشِفة لمقدار الخير في الدين وصلابته وثباته، فإنها أيضاً كاشِفة في أمور الدُنيا، فالشِدة تُظهِر الصديق الحَق دوناً عن غيره، وتُبين فضيلة المرء. فهنيئًا لمن كان مُحاطاً بأصحاب المعادن الثمينة والقلوب الثابتة المُؤمنة المتعلقة بالله. 

 #شذرات_وأفكار_مُبعثرة

Eva Mendes and the media

I just came across a piece of news regarding Eva Mendes supporting her husband Ryan Gosling with his movie Lala Land, and the way she is being portrayed by the media just frustrates the hell out of me. Its a crazy racist world. I mean if you choose to work and not have kids, you are not a good woman. If you choose to just have kids, you are not a good woman. If you chose to do both -have kids and work- you are so not a good woman. I guess being a woman means to be critized no matter what and by no matter who and according to all kind of standards. It is not only in the middle east. It is everywhere. WTF world!! :/

Did they even bother to call Eva Mendes and ask her if she found herself forced to stay at home by him? or the society or they just assumed that if a woman decides to stay at home, then she's stupid, oppressed and forced by society to do so? Do you really want women to have their own choice when it comes to life decisions, or do you want them all to fit in what this picture you have in your mind?

I mean instead of treating Eva Mendes like a grownup sane human being that is capable of making her own decisions, the media jumped to the conclusion that she's oppressed and was forced by her "Man" to make this "shitty" job of taking care of her kid.

If a woman decides to stay at home, this doesn't make her in anyway less than a woman who decided to focus on her career. Stop putting people into boxes and prejudging them. Stop treating women like stupid human beings who are being moved around against their will, because they're way much stronger and resilient than that. -_-

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (97) - إسماً على مُسمى 3.

أتذكر هذا اليوم الذي لن أنساه قط في حياتي .. أستيكة زهرية اللون وألوان خشبية أهدتهما لي مُعلمتي و أُمي الثانية 'حنان إسماعيل' يوم عيد ميلادي مُنذ أكثر من خمسة عشر عاماً حينما كُنا نحضر حلقة القُرآن في بيتها الكريم .. حتي قبل أن أبدأ في الحضور بمسجد أبي بكر الصديق. :) أتذكر تلك الوجوه و الصُحبة التي إجتمعت لديها علي خير و في الخير .. أتذكرهم إسماً إسماً ووجهاً وجهاً .. حتي هؤلاء الذين لم أعد أراهم مرةّ أخري ولم نتواصل بعد وفاتها قط .. أتذكر جيداً تلك القلوب الصافية الصغيرة علي فطرتها والتي لم تكُن لتجتمع دون رحمة الله تعالي و دون أن تكون هيّ مُعلمتهم .. أتذكر تلك الإبتسامة التي ينبُع عنها الرِضا التي لم تُغادر وجهها قط مهما ضاقت بها الدُنيا .. أتذكرأياهما الأخيرة والنظرة التي علي وجهها .. أتذكر جيداً أني "نُلت شرف" حصولي علي جائزة الطالبة المثالية - في حلقتنا التي كانت ذات صيت قوي وقتها بتفوق بناتها وأدبهم - في آخر حلقة نشاط صيفي إجتمعنا عليها قبل وفاتك .. أتذكر كم كُنت أحاول مراراً أن أكون فقط ممن ترضي عنهم من شدة حبي وإحترامي لكي، والذي حتي الآن لم ينقص قدراً قط بل يزيد يوماً تلو الآخر .. أتذكر هذا الحنان و الرضا و الحُب .. كنتي حقاً إسماً علي مُسمي .. أتذكركي والله كأنكي لم ترحلي عنّا يوماً قط ... أشتاقُ إليكي كثيراً و أحتاجُ إليكي أكثر وأكثر .. كم كُنت أتمني أن أشارككي كثيراً من الأحداث التي مرّت بي وأن تشاركيني فرحتي قبل حُزني .. و لكني و الله غير حزينة، فإنت برفقة الرحمن الرحيم الأرحم منّا جميعاً. لم تكوني لتعتادي ما نراه من ظُلم .. نلقاكي في الفردوس الأعلي يا حبيبة قلبي. :)!! 

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (96) - لماذا نكتُب؟

لستَ في حاجة إلى معرفة قواعد الكتابة لكي أكتب، فأنا أكتب شذرات أفكاري المبعثرة المُتناثرة الآن وسأتعلم مع الوقت .. رُبما لا أتعلم إطلاقاً .. ولكنني قررت أنه الأهم أن أعتاد تدفق الحروف من بين يدي لا مِن خلفي، فعليّ أن لا أخاف مما أكتب، فمن يخاف مِن حروفه لا يستحق أن يحمل قلماً أبداً أبداً ..

الكتابة فعلٌ مُقدَس لأنه بدأ في السماء، ولذلك علينا أن لا نُدنّسها في الأرض. أعجبني كاتب حين وصف من يكتب أنه يترك وراءه قبساً يهتدي به السائرون في طريق الحقيقة، فقد لا تستطيع أن تُدلّ الناس على الصواب، لكنك تستطيع أن تحكي لهم عنه .. عندما يبدأ أحدنا بالكتابة فإن نَصّه يكون جزءاً منه، وبعد أن ينتهي يصبح هو جزءا من ذلك النص.:) 

أنا أكتب لكي أكتشف العالم وأعبّر عن نفسي، أو ربّما، لأعْبُرَ إليها. ليس بالضرورة أن أكون مفكرة مُثقفة كبيرة وعميقة جداً لكي أكتب، فإنه يكفيني أن أشعر بأفكاري تتبعثر وتحوم حولي باحثة عن ورقة لكي تترتب، حتى أبدأ بالكتابة؛ فالكتابة حالة شعورية تُصيب الشخص دون أن يدري "لماذا"، ولكي يعرف الإجابة عليه أن يكتب ثم يبحث بين سطور كتاباته. لماذا أكتُب حتي وإن لم أحرك مشاعر الآخرين أو الأفكار الراكدة في عقولهم؟!! أكتب حتى أترك أثراً .. أثراً يُذكر ولو كان بسيطاً في من حولي .. أكتب حتى لا نكون أثراً .. أثراً منسيّ لا يعلم بوجوده القريب والبعيد. :)

#تخاريف #Q4redefined #Imissmyblog #powerofwriting

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (95) - ورُبما ..

ورُبما يَكمُن جهادنا في هذا الزمان في سعينا لغرس فسيلة ومحاولاتنا المُستمرة - حتي وان لم نغرسها قط - واليقين وحُسن الظن بأن لها أثر يُذكَر رغم كُل ما يحدُث حولنا ليُثبت مِراراً غير ذلك .. رغم الظلام الشديد الذي يعترينا كُل لحظة ويُلقي في نفوسنا ما يرهقها .. رغم كُل ما يُثقِل قلوباً ويؤرق أرواحناً ظنت أنها قد تجد في الدُنيا دار عدل وسلام .. رغم كُل الشِِتات .. ولمثل أيام كهذه، هُناك آخرة ...

#تخاريف #٢٦_عاماً_مضي_دون_أثر_يُذكَر #الله_غالِب #عن_عُمره_فيما_أفناه 

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (94) - ذكريات الـ facebook إيجيشان ستايل.

'المفروض القائمين على فيس بوك يعملوا اوپشين للمصريين ان ميطلعلهومش حوار شريط الذكريات بتاع كل يوم ده. بجد دي اسوأ حاجة على الإطلاق انك تصحى الصبح وتلاقي حاجات بتطلع لك من تلات واربع سنين فاتوا، انت قلت ايه وكنت بتفكر ازاي وصورك شكلك فيها كان عامل ازاي. ثورة ومجلس عسكري ومحمد محمود وماسبيرو وبورسعيد وانتخابات واتحادية وانقلاب ورابعة .. الأمل وبعدين الإحباط وبعدين الأمل وبعدين الإحباطات العديدة، وفوق ده كله الحبس والقتل والظلم والقهر. احساس الوطنية وبعدين الكُره والسعي ورا اي فرصة هجرة حتي لو في غانا، احساسك بانك فعلا من البلد دي وكُرهك ليها في كام سنة. احنا اتمرجحنا واتمرمطنا جامد اوي اوي. كل اللي بطلبه بس ان محدش يجي جنبي يشغلنا شريط الذكريات كل يوم الصبح! بجد احنا الجيل اللي الاربع سنين عدوا عليه بأربعين! علي رأي حمزة: 'الجيل اللّي شايب وهوّ شباب' :) الاغنية دي بتعلم عليّ جامد. ارحمنا يا مارك زوكربيرج مش حتبقى انت والايام عليا' ..

#كفاية_ذكريات #انا_مش_عايزة_افتكر #الهروب_علي_هيئة_نوم #النسيان_هو_الحل_علشان_نعيش #إسمعني #مُش_هبقي_نُسخة_من_ماضيك #تخاريف #النُص_ميتر_يتحدث 

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (93) - In the memory of the third of November.

Remember, remember!

The third of November,

The currency crash treason and plot;

I know of no reason,

Why the currency crash treason,

Should ever be forgot!

#VForVendettaFansWillRelate #تخاريف #DepressingTimes #IMFhasblackhistory101

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (92) - الـpassiveness إيجيشان ستايل.

'الطيارة فاتتني' .. 'العربية اتخبطت' .. 'القلم ضاع' .. دي مش لغتنا ولا طريقة كلامنا بس .. دي ثقافتنا كمصريين .. دة اسلوب حياتنا. خلينا نسمي الامور بمسمياتها و ان احنا شعب "باسيف " بطبعه. قلبه يتقطع ويموت لو اعترف بمشكلته. صعب وكرامته توجعه لو قال "أنا ضيعت القلم". لأن أكيد القلم ضاع و دي مشكلته. يتصرف هو بقي، احنا مالنا.  انما المصري بطبعه لا يُخطئ .. ضد المياة، ضد النار، ضد الاخطاء والمشاكل والحشرة الفار (بالاعتذار للفار اللي زارنا ونكد علينا من فترة). دائماً ما يكون الخطأ من كُل حاجة علي الكوكب الا هو .. الكوكب كُله بيتآمر علينا علشان منتقدمش ونبقي حاجة حتى لو كان "قلم." بس طبعاً مصر أم الدنيا وهتبقي قد الدنيا، وهتبقي كدة.

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (91) - Disconnecting to connect. :)

What are friends if they don't ask or check?! I am going through a phase of having to again question many friendships lately including how good I am as a friend .. Quite alarming!

I keep checking my account frequently each day. I think I am connecting with friends. Guess what, I am not. Social networks makes us think we are connecting with people, but do we actually connect on the personal level? I don't think so. Besides, it keeps being a source of distraction than a source of connection.

As a step, I deleted both Facebook and Instagram apps from my mobile. I neither deleted the messenger nor I deactivated my accounts since I am being an admin on few groups/pages. But I blocked them on my computer. I am still reachable on mobile, messenger and whats app. I have tried it before, and I failed. الله المستعان. Lets see how long I can survive this round inchaálllah. Lol!

I am gradually losing close friends that I care about because I fail miserably in keeping in touch. Many ones failed me too though. We think we are connecting but we are not. Friendships, the same as everything in life, were much simpler, stronger and sincere before social networks. :( Life goes on, yes. But someone have to take a step if they want a change. I need to stop checking my phone to see who still remembers me and tagged me in a post. I need to actually remember people rather than getting worried about being simply remembered. What did I do to deserve it? I need to realize how disconnected I became even from my closest friends, so I actually put more time and effort to connect back with them. I miss my friends. And it hurts more knowing how we allow age, distance and social media to kill good friendships thinking 'it's just how life is,' because it is not!!! :)

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (90) - حب لأخيك ما تُحب لنفسك. :)

So this took place first day of Eid Adha - exactly Monday September 12, 2016. My very old friend Haidy El Medany decided to teach me a lifetime lesson of what is the real meaning of 'حب لأخيك ما تُحب لنفسك.' 

I liked few handmade bracelets she was wearing. So I spontaneously asked her where she got them from. Instead of answering me, I found her giving me two of the ones she was wearing. Even better, she didn't even think twice. It was not an act of kindness or a courtesy invitation to take them. It was a genuine gift. And although they may look simple, they still mean to me way more than that, and I am grateful for that. :)

Well, every time I meet an old friend from the masjed group, I end up learning a new sincere lesson. هُن مثال لرِفعة الأخلاق.  They will always and forever remain the ones that I will cherish the most. For it was for them, after Allah, I am who I am today. I grew up with them, and I hope I don't lose connection cause otherwise I may fall apart. جُزيتن خيراً كثيراً ودام الله نعمة معرفتكُن ووجودكُن في حياة الكثيرين وزادكُن من فضله ورحمته. الحمدُ لله. :)

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (89) - Letter to my Sister- In the memory of the Harry Potter 8

Dear Sister,

I thought of writing you this because I don’t know any other way to express myself truly except through written words. Probably it feels tangible, and much more organized than how I shout or babble around like a maniac kid.

In the memory of August 10, 2017. I must start saying I love you. I do. I would do anything for you. I wish I am a better elder sister. I wish we had a better sister to sister relationship. I wish I could tell you about my heartbreaks, and hookups, and fears, and dreams. I wish I could let you know how it feels to be who I am, I wish you understand. I know you love me, too. It would have been great to discuss my heart with you. That’s what sisters are supposed to do.

You are my hero. You always see the world as half full, and I thank you for that. I am sorry for breaking your heart although you are always trying to be kind and thoughtful. Every day I feel regret of not being able to give you back. I feel terrible for being who I am around you. I am probably stupid or immature. Thank you for teaching me how it feels to love someone beyond words, and thanks for teaching me how to be kind and compassionate unconditionally properly.

Its not that I don’t care. Of course I care. You are my sister, the one I know I can lean on whenever I am in trouble. The one who can keep my secrets, hide my nonsense from mum since we were kids and yet never complain about how a shitty sister I am. This is the most thoughtful gift I ever had. Not because it’s a Harry Potter book. Well, of course it means a lot. But also coming from you, without a reason nor an occasion, is something that I probably kept crying about since the day you gave it to me. You get almost one or two who get to love you in the unconditional way you do, and I am so lucky to even have you in my life, even luckier that you are more than just someone — you are my sister.

I will remember yesterday forever. Not only the fight and how much I probably cried for letting you down, but that to remember that I am still loved. No matter where I am, there is someone outside whose name is Raghda, loved me and will keep loving me for who I am not for who she thinks or wants me to be. She never judged me, and accepted me without conditions or strings attached.

Some people mistake my silence for ignorance. I think I am the weakest of them all. I was always someone who craved love. This is not to say that I accepted love willingly — quite the opposite, in fact. If someone decided to like or even love me, they would have to pass through a path of obstacles, being pushed pulled and tested at every corner. Only then, upon arrival at the finish line, would they gain my acceptance. I have lost friendships, and now I figured out I may have lost you too. I am sorry for what happened, and I am sorry for letting you down. I really am.

I am afraid that I’ll wake up one morning and I won’t get to see you around. Who would tease me or make me cry then? Don’t think that I don’t care. I always care. I just don’t know how to show it. I just think that I have taken the easy way out. I have been blocking people out of my life so I won’t be hurt in the way mum hurt me too. I hope I change one day. I really do. Unless I can love myself, I may never be able to allow others to love me the way you do.

I recently read this article about how does a daughter forgive her mother for not protecting her. It is interesting how I could relate to some of its details. It does not have to be the mother we are talking about. It could be anyone including those very close ones you once trusted but failed to be there when you needed them the most. The article gave me hope. Forgiving someone for not being there is hard. I never knew how and when I could move on and forgive others and myself until I decided a time ago to do so. I'd be lying if I said I moved on, but at least I am trying. As they always say: “Believe you can and you are halfway there.” :)

How can I be angry with many close ones? A question I failed to answer precisely until now. You all argue that they did not do me any harm. I must admit, you are right, but still they were not there either. They were the circle of trust. They were supposed to love, embrace and protect me back then. Maybe inaction doesn't have to be motivated by malice, but sometimes by someone's own paralyzing fear -- their survival instinct. The more I am angry with people, the more I realize I have a lot to change about myself.

It really is true: “Freedom is what we do with what’s been done to us.” It is not the circumstances of our lives that matter. It is what we choose to do with them. Yes, some journeys take you farther from where you come from, but closer to where you belong. I know that I need to get my priorities straight. But I hope you know that I love you. Forgive me! I am sorry that I failed you, and kept failing you. But I promise I will never let you down from now on. 

Sincerely,

The Family's Gryffindor Potterhead

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (88) - First Eid Without You.

This is overwhelming, Nana. :)

First Eid without you. First Eid with no Shemerly family gatherings to attend together nor visiting you at home nor debating over the fact that I am too old for a 3idia. You always tell me 'You'll never grow up on a 3idia. You'll always be my little granddaughter no matter how old you get, Yosr.' :) I miss your place, the smell of home and your genuine sincerity. I miss your look, smile and the gossip chitchatting. I even miss debating and disagreeing over Egypt's daily topics. I miss your homemade kahk, ghoryba, and the all-time signature borik and menini. :)

Well, too many memories is still stuck in this place as if your soul is still present missing us too, and you're not yet gone. Almost a year passed, yet I am in denial. Everything here reminds me of nothing but you, Nana. I miss you. May you rest in peace. ربنا يرحمك ويعفوا عنك ويرزقنا صحبتك في الجنة ..

Yes, when someone we love dies, and you’re not expecting it, it seems as if time stands still. And silence... a quiet sadness... often can be felt, not just heard, a longing for one more day... one more word... one more touch... You don’t lose them all at once; you lose them in pieces over a long time. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of them that are gone. Just when the day comes — when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that they are gone, forever ..

I miss you Nana, and you will always be remembered beautifully ..  

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (87) - Nobility of War

Turkey and now Bangladesh. ISIS's second claimed massacre in a Muslim majority country. Defending Islam by killing Muslims in the holy month of Ramadan. But it still calls itself Islamic. And the world still believes this bullshit. Not only they did that, but reading the news made me even think how a brave ISIS mujahid actually paused after killing people having their dinner to snap a photo to boast of what they just did. Really!?

I am tired of the myth of the nobility of a war, whatever that is. There is nothing noble about tearing apart, and displacing bodies, and making the souls that God made so miraculously suffer. "They just hate us," so we are justified in hating them?!! They say the same thing by the way, and then we have everyone denying that what they have is "hate." No it is not patriotism, realism, or even political incorrectness. It is just blind hate. Yes it is. Still trying to figure out what is the next step for the mutual haters in this world?! Haven't they had enough yet?! :/

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (86) - Brexit.

Quickly reading the news in the morning, so UK voted 'Leave' in the Brexit even though 75% of the people under the age of 25 voted 'Remain'. To cut the story short, the old voted for a future the young don't want. Funny, how people always fear the young for so long, turns out it was the old we should have worried about. The old have screwed the young again in another part of the world. It is universal I can tell, yet in a more democratic way than what happened in Egypt. :/

UKIP, who could only win a single seat in parliament, have now reshaped British and European politics. Would this trigger a potential domino effect across the EU possibly leading to the collapse of the entire body? We'll see. Not sure what is happening to the world, but it looks like we are facing even more difficult times. Can we now safely assume that extremism, hatred and fear can cost a country its future?! They are rising worldwide in many forms such as race, religion and nationalism despite of being in 21st century which is said to be the century of science, knowledge and wisdom. I only hope rest of EU learn the right lesson from this result. Focus on their economic and democratic deficiencies and mad austerity, not just refugees and migrants. As Tariq Ramadan said, "Your enemy is not the refugee. Your enemy is the one who made him a refugee." In all cases, it's important for who voted 'Remain' to just accept the result and move on, possibly to another country. :)

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (85) - For the love of Harry Potter.

When people don't understand my "Wingardium Leviosa," I "Avada Kedavra" them. They still don't get it, but it makes me feel so much better. :)

Any member of the Harry Potter fans has undoubtedly heard the phrase 'Potterheads' or the 'Harry Potter Generation' thrown around a few times. It is usually remarked upon with pride, a mix between an era and a community. This is very true.

One could argue that any long-term fan is part of it. If the Harry Potter Generation is simply a group of people who have loved Harry Potter at any time in the recent past, then the whole fandom is part of the generation. However, a fandom and a generation are not the same thing —I can be a massive fan of the Beatles, but I certainly wasn’t in their generation!

What makes a group the Harry Potter Generation, as opposed to the larger group of fans????

Good question. It comes down to demographics. Age is the most obvious credential for a member of the Harry Potter Generation—many fans can recall starting the books at age ten or eleven and virtually growing up alongside Harry and his friends (myself included). But this can seem limiting—what about fans like my eighteen-year-old brother, who is a huge HP fan in his own right? What about fans like my friend’s mom Lori, who made her own Professor Sprout costume (complete with Venomous Tentacula) and waited alongside her daughter and I at the midnight releases? Aren’t they considered part of the Harry Potter generation?

Simply—and perhaps bluntly—no.

One very strong aspect of a generation lies in its young people/youth culture. (Particularly when it comes to pop culture—Elvis belonged to the teenagers and young women of his time, didn’t he?) In the case of the older fans, they’ve already had their generation. They have already contributed to a culture that is now part of history, and now it’s the next generation’s turn.

It’s a bit trickier with younger fans. What makes a 22-year-old a part of the generation if a 20-year-old is not? This has been made a particularly blurry line with the advent of Buzzfeed and Tumblr and endless lists proclaiming “If You Remember This, You’re a 90’s Kid”. (Perhaps I am dating myself by saying this, but it comes down to this pronouncement: if you were born in the 90s, you are not a 90s kid.)

When it comes to Harry Potter, there’s a similar parallel: if you weren’t Harry’s age, you’re not a part of his capital-g-Generation.

But what does this mean for the perceived in-betweeners? The people who were in high school when Harry first hit the shelves, but were still part of the first wave of fans, and were the people who jump-started the first online forums and fanfic?

While they didn’t age alongside Harry in a literal sense, we have to consider Harry’s “actual” age. In 1997 (when Philosopher’s Stone was published in the UK), Harry was turning 17 years old. Today, he would be 33 years old. It stands to reason that anyone who was between Harry’s book age and “true” age at the time the books were published can also be counted in the capital-g-Generation.

I think I can hear some accusations of hipster snobbery out there (“She thinks she’s so great because she read the books ‘before they were cool’!”), and perhaps those accusations are warranted. To me, a person who came to the series late or who saw most or all of the films first can’t really testify to what it meant to have to wait for the next book, to have read the books before the movies were announced, to feel like Harry and his friends were also your friends far before they became hallmarks of a pop culture and literature phenomenon. (Admittedly, this is very sentimental evidence, but it is echoed all over the fandom by people my age.)

Naturally, that doesn’t mean that those outside of that age range aren’t important fans. If you waited in line at midnight, waved a wand at the Wizarding World in Orlando, or eagerly competed for a beta spot in Pottermore; if you write fanfiction or analysis or draw fanart, you’re a valued and essential member of the fandom, and the fandom is big enough for all!

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (84) - Stories we love the most.

'You have your mother's eyes.' :) 

I think we’re made up of all these different pieces and every time someone goes, you’re left with another less piece of yourself. We may end up feeling empty because we leave pieces of ourselves in everything we used to love. This is the same exact story of Lily and Snape. :) 

There is no love story in any other novel that was sincere and able to touch my soul and catch my heart beats, as Snape's love to Lily. Yes, sincere stories as these, which we love the most, live in us forever no matter how old we grow. :) 

In fact, Alan Rickman's scene in the Harry Potter 7 movie, where he confesses his love to Lily, will always and forever remain the most closest to my heart.

'After all this time?' 
'Always!' :)
(https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LeG_judrcOA)

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (83) - الجدة بطة. :)

حاسة إني لو كبرت و ربنا أدام في عُمري إن شاء الرحمن، نفسي أطلع شبه 'الجدة بطة' .. شكلاً علشان إحنا الإثنين قصيرين زيّ بعض .. انما انا لا أنت ليها و لحلاوتها بصِلة .. نفسي اكون زيها وشخصيتها وشطارتها وتصرفاتها وطيبتها وحنيتها وحنانها وحزمها وشدتها وهزارها وخفة دمها في نفس الوقت. :) الجدة بطة مثلي الأعلي و أتمني إني يبقي عندي رُبع من الرفاهية بتاعتها وإني أدلع أحفادي زيها و أطلع بعمل فطيرة تُفاح حلوة و معتبرة زي بتاعتها. :) والسؤال هنا، إمتي هسيب الكوكب اللعين دة و أهاجر مدينة البط ؟! ولا هو حتي مدينة البط قفلوا الفيزا للمصريين .. :/

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (82) - الله لا ينسانا (4).

‫يا ترى لما توصل للى أنت عاوزه ، هيطلع زى ما أنت كنت عاوزه !؟ :)

‫#‏تخاريف

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (81) - الـgeneration gap إيجيشان ستايل.

احنا كمصريين الحوار عندنا منعدم. من الكبير اللي فاكر نفسه صح مبيغلطش ولازم كلمته تمشي ويورث خبراته إجباراً، للصغير للي فاكر نفسه عارف وفاهم كل حاجة ومش عايز يستفيد من خبرة غيره، ومحدش مستعد يفهم ولا يسمع التاني .. محدش عايز يسيب غيره يجرب، ومحدش عايز يسمع، ومحدش عايز يفهم، وكل واحد عايز يقول كل اللي في نفسه بأي طريقة حتي لو فاشلة وبتوصل لاهانة بعض .. لا بس الثورة مستمرة فعلاً! -_-

#‏اسمعني ‫#‏تخاريف ‫#‏الـgeneration_gap_مش_إشاعة

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (80) - الله لا ينسانا (3).

ويبتلينا الله بعيوبٍ كرهناها في غيرنا ويضعنا في نفس موقف من انتقدنا، حتى يُرينا ضعفنا.. فنكُف ويتواضع قلبنا، ونلتمس لغيرنا ألف عُذر ونُدرك أنه عسي أن يكونوا خيراً منّا ..

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (79) - الله لا ينسانا (2). :)

اللهُ يعلم سبب الهالات تحت عينيك، ويعلم كمّ التعب الذي تكدّس في تنهيدتك، ويعلم الأحاديث التي تزاحمت في صدرك، ويعلم عن الهم الذي أثقل قلبك .. ويبتليك الله بهشاشة قلبٍ لدرجة أنّ كلمة عابرةٍ تُبعثرك، وآيةٌ تُبكيك، ونص حزين يكتم الهواء بحلقك، ونظرة عابرة من غريب تُصيبك بالهلع .. الله يعرف عدد المراتِ التي تفتّتت فيها روحك ولم يدرك أحد، يعرف شعورك حينما يبكي قلبك ويموت وجعًا ولا أحد يشعر، الله معك حين ينساك الجميع .. يبتلي الله العبد بأحب الناس إليه، ليُريه أن الناس تتخلى عمن أحبت، والله لا يترك مَن أَحبّ .. 

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (78) - To fit in.

I came across a recent quote when watching a Disney movie: 'I tried to fit in. I really do. I just can't. Sometimes I feel like I really don't belong here,' and suddenly it feels like old years back again. Whatever I try to put into words, I am bad at describing how it feels like, so I thought to share bits of an old article on Huffington Post, and which is one of the closest to my heart.

I’ve always felt different, like I was born in the wrong time period, or maybe even on the wrong planet. I just don’t “fit” anywhere or with anyone. You’d likely never realize this if you spent any amount of time with me, but it’s true.

When I was younger, I got good at pretending to fit in. Talking about things I didn’t care about, doing things I didn’t necessarily enjoy, and making myself appear “normal” when I’m so clearly anything but. As I got older, I learned to embrace more of what made me unique and different, and learned how to be more of myself and exist in a space of truth and authenticity alongside everyone else.

Yet, despite all the work I’ve done, there are still moments where the feeling of not belonging anywhere or with anyone is all consuming. It happens randomly, usually when I’m in a group of people, whether friends or family, who are having a good time. There will be a conversation and laughter, and I may even be enjoying myself... until all of a sudden I’m not, because I’m acutely aware of the truth: I don’t fit here. 

Sometimes it’s that I don’t really care about the topic at hand.

Sometimes it’s that I don’t really fit with the people around me.

Sometimes it’s that I feel like the oddball of the group.

Mostly, though, it’s that I realize I’m not living a life in full alignment with my truth. Because, if I was, I would be somewhere else, having a different conversation, with a different set of people, and showing up more fully and completely as me.

I’ve done a lot of work over the years to align my life, relationships, and work with my truth, passions and purpose. I’ve made major shifts, had hard conversations, and have pushed myself in ways that stretched me to tears. I’ve aligned, shed, grown, shifted, created, released, healed and cultivated. I’ve done a lot of work.

So when these moments happen, despite the fact that I momentarily stop breathing and the world feels suffocating, isolating, and overwhelmingly foreign... I feel gratitude. Gratitude for the never ending nudges that bring me closer to my truth and my whole self. Nudges that say, hey love, this isn’t right for you. This isn’t where you belong. This isn’t really who you are. Nudges that prompt me to make changes so that, albeit slowly but surely, I start to show up more fully and completely in my life.

What to do when you don’t fit in:

1) Be kind to yourself.

You’re not alone in this feeling, regardless of how intense, frequent, or unique to you it may feel. I remember attending a conference last spring where the speaker asked the audience, “who here feels like they don’t fit in?” Over half the audience raised their hands. You’re not the only one who feels like you don’t belong, there are tons of us. So first and foremost, be kind to yourself. Because even if you’re the one person in the world who really, truly, absolutely has no place, you’re still going to be stuck with you. Love and accept yourself fully, even when it feels like no one else could possibly.

2) Stop trying and, instead, notice what makes you different.

One of the most common mistakes we make when we feel like we don’t belong is to try and fit in. If you feel like you don’t belong, there’s a very good chance you don’t, and this isn’t a bad thing! Pay attention to what specifically triggered that feeling for you. Is it that you don’t care about the things others do? Is it that you’re spending time with people who are your opposite? Is it that you don’t enjoy the activity at hand? Not fitting in doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you or the people around you, it just means you’re different. Use this as an opportunity to explore what would need to change for you to feel like you fit. This isn’t about changing yourself or forcing yourself to be anything you’re not, it’s about taking an honest look at the situation.

Maybe you need a new set of friends or to spend less time with your family. Maybe you’re not dating the right person. Maybe you’d rather be at a cultural event than out drinking. Whatever it is, just make note of it and create better alignment in your life, work, and relationships going forward.

3) Embrace the truth of who you are.

Here’s a truth I’ve learned that’s changed my world: I don’t fit in and I’m not supposed to. I’m not here to fit in, and that’s okay. I’m here to be my unique and amazing self, and you are, too. Whatever makes you different, that’s exactly who you’re here to be, not someone that “fits” with everyone else. You may not be the person who stays out late with friends, instead you may be at home studying something that lights you up. You may not be the person who can bond over sports or celebrity gossip. Instead you may be the person discussing politics and protesting for what you believe in. Embrace it! That’s who you’re here to be and it’s perfect, beautiful, and needed in this world. The sooner you embrace the truth of who you are, the sooner you’ll find where you fit and start feeling more joyful and fulfilled by your life and relationships.