تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار .. : تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (22)

It has been almost four years where I have been going through so much. I feel fragile, stressed, afraid and consumed. I have been on the edge of breaking down and giving up so many times. I remember the details of each moment; the sleepless nights, the over-thinking lonesome days and the helplessly crying moments. How much is 'too much' differs from person to person. We are all different. Some people are able to role with the punches, while others seem to crumble in the face of far smaller obstacles or frustrations.

I fight everyday the negative thoughts and really try finding a reason why to still exist or even belong to this inhumane world or do anything worthwhile until I remind myself that 'إذا قامت الساعة وفي يد أحدكم فسيلة فليغرسها.' I remind myself that what I am supposed to do has nothing to do with whether it will matter or not. It has nothing to do whether I am or when. What matters is that I do what I am supposed to do. Spending today being angry about yesterday won't make tomorrow any brighter. Every time I feel like giving in, I come across into those small incidents shaping worthy reminders that 'لا يُكلف الله نفساً إلا وسعها.' Allah is there to protect us. While many times I cry telling everyone 'I can no longer take this,' something happens reminding me that 'Allah knows I can handle it.' There is definitely something to learn. Allah does not put us in situations unless we are up to the challenge. I may not be able to control the circumstances, but I still can control how I am going to face them.

This week too many things happened. Although I still believe it was not the best week of my life, yet things could have been worse. I could have had an accident due to my stressed careless driving, and I did not! I could have lost my wallet, and I did not! I could have been stalked and robbed, and I did not! I could have had my car stolen since my wallet was in the car, and I thank Allah it did not! I could have lost most of my friends who care the past months due to my careless attitude and almost not being there for them, and I did not. I could have been disbarred due to stupid routine and ego issues, and yet alhamdulillah I did not!

I remember that day back then in college when I applied for an academic instructor post in one of the activities. Then weeks later, I find out that I was accepted in a social/academic post. My first thought was 'the high board must been out of their minds!!!!' I am a purely academic person and an anti-social butterfly. How could they do this to me?!!! I remember how many times I thought of quitting because I will never fit in. I could have not made it until end, but I did not! The days passed to prove me wrong. I pray every day for the high board for overseeing my flaws and believing in me. Because if it was not for their choice, I would not have rediscovered myself and I would not have been elected as a high board the year after or get to know awesome friends and colleagues. But again, Allah knows. و كُل شئ عنده بقَدر .. له في كُل شئ حَكمة لا نعلمها ..

I remember that day quite well. Couple of years ago I was in an ethical disagreement and had to detach myself from a group of people to start everything from scratch on my own. I remember how much I cried and how much I felt lost in the middle of nowhere. I did not know from where to start. Why me? Why now?!! Why do we have to suffer while we never did something wrong?!! Will I survive?!! But then I keep telling myself to stop thinking and remind myself that Allah knows. This morning, nearly years after this incident, I find myself in a completely different atmosphere and circumstances that I would not have faced unless this disagreement took place. This disagreement saved me from a person I could have been and would have hated. Not a single day has gone by that I do not thank Allah for putting me through this tough time back then. But again, Allah knows. It does not necessarily makes things easier, but it certainly changed the way I think. I feel a small piece of my broken heart has healed and part of my over thinking mind can find peace.

The truth is; it happens just like that. Although these incidents are somewhat extreme, at some point Allah sends us a good reminder that shifts our perspective. Personally, I have been slapped with several of these reminders over the years. And now days, I want to pass a few of them along with others …

- Life is difficult. Yes. Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we see the truth, we transcend it. Once we know life is difficult and consists of a series of problems –once we truly understand and accept it– then life is no longer difficult. Once we accept it, the fact that 'life is difficult' no longer matters.

- Everything that happens helps you grow, even if it is hard to see right now. Circumstances and experiences will direct us over time. Sometimes these circumstances knock us down hard. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And we might feel like we will be stuck in this hole forever; but we won’t. When we feel like quitting, remember that our most significant opportunities are often found in times of great difficulty.

- The way we feel about people and situations will shift, and that is okay. Things will seem totally different to us at some point in the future, just as we feel different now than we did in the past. Just because we liked something at one point in time does not mean we will always like it. The only thing we ever have to be for sure is unsure, and this means we are growing and not shrinking.

- There will always be more tough changes to make. Growth is painful. Change is painful. But in the end, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere we do not belong. Again, we are not the same persons we were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. We are always growing. Experiences do not stop. That is life. It takes a great deal of courage to admit that something needs to change, and a lot more courage still, to accept the responsibility for making the change happen. But doing so is worth every bit of effort we can gather.

- Problems do not go away. Problems do not go away. They must be worked our through or else they remain, forever a barrier. Confronting problems is painful. 'We cannot solve life's problems except by solving them.' This statement may seem idiotically tautological or self-evident, yet it seemingly beyond comprehension of human race. We cannot solve a problem by hoping that someone else will solve it for us. Regret has a bitter taste. Yet, you get to choose whether to be honest and bear the sting of going a step back, learn and try to set things right or to live with the bitterness of what you ruined and stood there watching doing nothing for the rest of your life. Sometimes taking this step back is all what you need to actually be able to learn, grow and move forward.

- Those who complain the most, accomplish the least. It is always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. It is not over if we have lost; it’s over when we do nothing but complain about it. If we believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of our future. Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter. Take action instead. And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that happiness will arrive only when we stop complaining about our problems and we start being grateful for all the problems we do not have.

- The level of happiness of our life depends on the quality of our thoughts. The mind is your battleground. It is the place where the greatest conflict resides. It is where half of the things we thought were going to happen, never did happen. But if we allow these thoughts to dwell in our mind, they will succeed in robbing us of peace, joy, and ultimately your life. We are what we think. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.

- We were born with the ability to change someone’s life. We see our worst parts in other people. The more you are around people, the more you will realize that you have a lot yet to change about yourself. You were born with the ability to change your life and someone else's life. Do not ever waste it. Be kind. Be present. Be someone who makes a difference. In a gentle way, we can shake the world. Truth be told, the purpose of life is not just to be happy in our own little bubble; it is to be helpful, to be honorable, to be compassionate and kind, to have our life make some kind of difference that we have lived and lived well. Go ahead; leave the world a little better than we found it

- We can best serve ourselves and others by giving ourselves what we need. That’s right, our needs matter more than we can imagine. Don’t ignore them. Sometimes we have to do exactly what is best for us and our lives, not just what seems best on the surface for everyone else. Decide this very minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.

- Everyone we meet serves a purpose in our lives. We meet no ordinary people in our lives. If we give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer. They may not be what we expected or wanted, but their presence is important. Some people will test us, some will teach us, and some will bring out the very best in us. So be thankful for everyone in your life. Yes EVERYONE! It will be hard sometimes, but do your best to be grateful for the rude, difficult people too. They serve as great reminders of how NOT to be.

- We are not alone in feeling weird and alone. I used to think I was the strangest person in the world, but then I thought about how there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels weird and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine him or her, and imagine that he or she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and reading this, you now know that, yes, it is true I am here, and I am as strange as you. I often feel and think and struggle much like you do. I care about many of the things you care about, just in my own way. And although some people do not understand us, we understand each other. YOU are not weird and alone!