تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (46) - What if؟

I always wondered how can someone willingly decide to torture himself with consistent hesitation only because he's afraid to give something a try.

Why would someone willingly kill a daring heartbeat that is urging him to go for what thrills it, just because they are not sure of what is beyond such decision/action awaiting them. I never knew until I recently fell in the same exact trap. Thinking of the unknown really scares some people off. They fool themselves into drawing a twisted image of the other side, one that pushes them away from trying, in the hope for putting an end to their hesitation.

But not only they kill the daring heartbeat, but they also kill that part of themselves that once believed and lived on that 'what if' heartbeat. They killed an extraordinary 'could be' just because the 'what if' thought was out of the norm and challenged long old beliefs. They keep holding too tightly to such beliefs so they can define themselves and can't seem to dare and try any other synonym or definition.

They would do anything to prove to themselves that it will always be darker on the 'could be' side. It is sad that someone can be talented and daring, yet they fail to see it within themselves. It is even sadder to watch them walk away choosing the safe side shore over challenging themselves and picking the unknown.

Isn't this how life works and how we grow. The resistance to 'what is' is what cause our suffering. Every day brings a choice to pick a 'what if' against the 'what is.' Choose to be miserable and you will find plenty to reasons. Happiness is allowing myself to be perfectly okay with 'what is,' and working on the 'what if' rather than wishing for and worrying about 'what is not.'

Well frankly, I never knew it until I recently fell in the same exact trap. I often questioned myself and felt doomed every time I start telling myself 'What is the point of trying?' Now I regret choosing the safe side over the 'what if' side. Neglecting my thoughts of the 'what if' fearing to lose the 'what is.' I learnt the lesson the hard way. Regret and pain are alienating, and contrary to what most people think, they don't leave. We just get used to living with it.

My advice to everyone reading this is to stop the hesitation, clear the clutter inside your mind and don't shy out of experiences. Don’t wait until you've lost something/someone to finally see how much you could have achieved and how much you took something/someone for granted. Yes, don't fall in the same trap I did, because unless you are wary, even the brightest minds can easily deceive its owners into the wrong path out of fear of the 'what if.'

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (45) - 1980 و إنت طالع.

النَاهردة عِرفت يعني إيه الواحد مُمكن يعيط ويضحك من قلبه فيّ ذات اللحظة. :)

أنا مُتحمسة أشارك تجرُبتي المتواضعة مع مسرحية 1980 وإنت طالع. أولاً هيّ فعلاً من أكثر الحَاجات المُوجعة والحِلوة اللّي اتفرجت عليها بعد مَسرحية قهوة سادة .. المَواقف مكتوبة بدقة ولا تُحاكي الواقع فقط، بل هيّ الواقع ذاته .. هنيئاً للكاتب والمؤلف لأن المواضيع اللّي تم اختيارها في محلها وكيفية طرحها أكثر من مُعبر وعبقري .. وعرفت بعد رُبع قرن إن معاناتي وأفكاري المشوشة المكركبة مش بعاني منها لوحدي .. وجع قلب جيلنا وأفكاره وطموحاته وأحلامه البسيطة في حياة طبيعية بحلوها وبمُرها .. والتوهان اللّي جيلنا عايش فيه وبيُعاني منه .. واليأس اللّي بيشوفه في كُل لحظة في حياته .. وتضارُب ولخبطة مشاعرنا من أقصي لحظات الغضب والثورة تارة، للحظات وفاة أحبائنا وأصحابنا تارة، ولحظات الفرح والبهجة تارة أٌخري، وكأنه شئ طبيعي تسمع خبر موت صاحبك وتحضر صلاة الجنازة الصُبح، وبعدين تطمن علي صاحبك الثورجي الظُهر، وبعدين تحضر فرح صاحبك الثالث ليلاً .. أيوة كُله في نفس اليوم ..  

ولا الظُلم اللّي الشباب بيشوفه والبطالة اللّي عايش فيها لغاية ما قرر يتنازل عن طموحاته و يغير أحلامه ومفيش مُشكلة يسيب البلد ويمشي وأقصي طموحاته يعيش بني آدم .. ولا أزمة الزواج وإزاي الأهل بيتعسفوا علشان البنت لازم تعيش في نفس المستوي، فالولد لازم يجيب ويجيب .. ولا الولد لو مشتغلش شُغلانة مُعينة وأخد مُرتب معين يبقي فاشِل ومفيش منه أمل .. ولا إزاي المُجتمع بيحُط البنت اللّي إتأخرت في الزواج في قالب واحد كأن  ملهاش وجود ولا أهداف إلا إنها تتجوز .. ولازم في سن مُعين وإلا تبقي عَنِست .. قال يعني بتبقي مبسوطة أمّا بتسمع كلامكُم المُش لطيف دة دة .. مع إنها مُمكن جداً تكون حققت نجاحات تانية كثير .. 

بلاش، ولا السياسة اللّي داخلة في كُل حاجة في حياتنا لغاية أمّا دمرت علاقتنا ببعض ويا ريتها جات بفايدة .. الأهل وعلاقتهم الملخبطة بولادهُم من مُنتمي جيلنا الغلبان وموقعه فين من الإعراب بعد دة كُله .. البنات وقد إيه التعامُل معاهُم في شئ من التعسُف والتقليل من وضعها كبني آدمة ليها مُخ ورأي وعقل و روح ومشاعر في المُجتمع المُتهتك اللّي عايشين فيه مقارنة بالولاد اللّي بيعملوا كُل اللّي نفسهم فيه سواء حرام أو حلال أو حتي ضد أعراف المُجتمع والأصول ويعترض ويقولك عادي جداً أنا ولد وحُر أعمل اللّي أنا عايزه .. عَبقرية في طرح المواضيع الملخبطة في سيميترية وبساطة للمُشاهد في وقت قليل ..

تحية للمُمثلين والمخرج و جميع القائمين علي العمل لأنهم أكثر من رائعين .. تحية لكُل اللّي مؤمن بحلمه وعارف هوّ عايز إيه ومُش خايف ومُستمر وبيعافر علشان يحققه .. مسرحية تستحق ان الواحد يروحها تاني وثالث وعاشر .. المشاهد بتتغير وبتطور كُل فترة .. وصدقني هتطلع كُل مرة مبسوط ومُتأثر وموجوع أكثر من المرة اللّي قبلها .. الصراحة قهوة سادة و1980 وإنت طالع والمسرحيات المُشابهة المُعتمدة علي الشباب الّي عنده فِكرة يوصلها بتخلي الواحد يزيد حُبه لفن المسرح يوماً تلو الآخر .. تحسه فن underground theatre .. أنا بحب وبقدر فن المَسرح جداً دوناً عن كُل الفنون التانية .. بحب اشجع أهله وناسه والشباب اللّي بيشتغل فيه عنده رسالة يوصلها. :)

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (44) - Friendships.

I am overwhelmed. I promise to reply to everyone who were sincere and kind to wish me a lovely birthday. :)

A quarter of century on planet earth feels like a milestone to question many things in life, and those who remembered me with those nice wishes - and even memories - made that day kinder and more memorable. Lovely how many of the ones who took the time to post on my wall, message me, or even call me, are ones I may no longer be in touch with occasionally as we were used to. Yet they took the time to 'write something,' 'be kind,' and simply 'remember!' :)

I think one of the greatest feelings in the world is when someone openly tells you how much you mean to them, and sharing the most cherished moments with you. Stuff like that are so rare. I still believe in them more than anything. I get disappointed most of the time. But few ones (not precisely close) never failed to revive my faith in humanity. Yes, distance or time does not necessarily kill friendships - rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof! That being said, we have to remember that it was never a matter of distance nor sharing the same family name, but a matter of kind loving hearts and trustful understanding souls, is what make a friendship even closer and sweeter.

The worst part about it is that missing someone as rare as these - and to whom you are recently no longer on speaking terms with - is when something amazing happens to you or you want to share this funny situation or happy news with them and you know it won't be the same when you share it with somebody else. So you hold it in right there until the situation is no longer funny and the happy news seems ordinary.

Well, maybe we can forget people and say we erased them from our lives as much as we want, but the truth is we will never stop cherishing and missing them being around. May these lovely friends remain sincere, thoughtful, loving and kind as they have always been. الحمدُ لله علي نعمة الناس الطيبة اللي حوالينا ومعرفتها بتهون وبتخلي علي الكوكب البائس دة ما يستحق الحياة له. :)

#تخاريف #25_عاماً_مضي_دون_أثر_يُذكَر #الله_غالِب #عن_عُمره_فيما_أفناه دُمتم معروفين بالخير و متجمعين علي خير و في الخير و دوماً بخير. :)

Photo credit: Layla Mosleh

تَخاريف نُص مِيتر عَقلُه طَار (43) - The benefit of the doubt.

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” - Henry James

I was thinking about a recent nice decision I made. All I can think of is that I changed my mind because I decided to give myself and someone the chance of the "benefit of the doubt." :)

What is "the benefit of the doubt"? It is an interesting saying; simply the act of giving someone the benefit of believing good - rather than the bad - about someone and what they say, and taking their word because you, yourself, have some doubt about what happened.

This concept is important when it comes to our relationships with others. We often forget that this concept is an inseparable part of our Islamic teachings. When speaking to others about a person, or hearing a person discussed by others, we must always seek to give the benefit of the doubt, and not jump to assumptions. Just as you will always have a good excuse and justification when it comes to your own actions and inadequacies, apply the same generosity when it comes to others. In the world of law, people remain innocent until proven guilty. Shouldn't that also be the case with our loved ones? :) We can challenge these thoughts and prove how talented and ingenious we can be in inventing excuses for others - by seeing how well we do it for ourselves.

Every day we see and hear a lot of misinterpretations and assumptions which lead to judgments and gossips but we rarely see confrontations. I wonder why?!! It is easy to jump to making assumptions, but we should be careful and not be hasty in judging a situation or an individual from what seems to be the apparent. Therefore, it is essential that we assume the best of others and give them the benefit of the doubt and allow them to explain themselves to clear any doubts we may have.

One of the great early Muslims scholars, said, “If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves.” Why 70 excuses? This is because the default assumption about all humans and their actions is that they are sound and free of error. This is considered our operating certainty. After this, if we find something that makes us doubt about them, we are not permitted to leave this operating certainty that they did not err for mere doubts or misgivings. The doubts and misgivings about others that are sinful are those that do not have a sound basis that would be sufficient to leave our operating assumption about others that they are upright and their actions free of error.

Powerful things can happen when you give someone the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes we feel we lack either the tools of patience to judge others favorably. As a matter of fact, more often than not we feel there could not possibly be any excuse or justification for a certain behavior.

The real test is whether you are going to trust what someone else says about a person, or your gut feelings and give that person the benefit of the doubt? In a world where it can be easy even for bright people to judge others, we should train ourselves to be patient and generous and avoid hastiness in judging others. And whenever you feel confused or anxious, then pay attention. Because it could be that the anxiety is something that you need to address within yourself in the first place.

So the next time you hear someone talking about a person, or you meet a person, be kind by giving them the benefit of the doubt. Some lessons you learn once, and they last a lifetime. When we are misjudged, that's when we begin to really appreciate the value of judging others favorably. :)

Photo credit: Layla Mosleh