A week ago,
I was crying hysterically. القابض علي دينه كالقابض علي جمرة من نار. .
Yes, I am scared. For a moment I felt I can barely find people around me
with good logical standards. I won't ask about Islamic teaching standards, but
at least human ones. No فطرة. Nothing at all. Where are those? Why do
we live in a world where what we have been raised upon does not correspond to
the real world? I am serious.
For a
moment, yes everything was black. I felt I couldn’t even find people around me
with the same basics my parents taught me. Regardless of how old I am or where
I reside, I still question myself daily, am I wrong or right? Am I the one who
need to change or the world is going messier every day? Inhumane world,
inconsistent behaviors and dual-standard practices. I am not sure how long I
can take it before I collapse like many others in my community. How long can I
maintain my beliefs before I fall? Would I get stronger or weaker? Can I
influence others or be influenced? I recently came to a conclusion that everything
I claimed I won't settle for less than it, I am now
settling for even lesser. It just happens and you will never feel
this change quite easily. Everything wrong or right is accessible, and it is
always a matter of choice. Where would my choices take me? I just wonder
..
I stopped
bugging my friends with these babbled thoughts. They can’t tolerate negativity
forever. But I like how a friend simplified this ongoing dilemma for me years
ago: 'Jihad is struggle. It is eating only one cupcake when you want to eat
five. It is studying for the exam when you rather play video games. It is
getting out of bed to pray when the blankets are so warm. It is donating
charity when you want to buy a new computer. It is holding your tongue when you
want to curse. It is the struggle against oneself.' Reading between the lines, you
figure out that there is no perfect but Allah. So the moment we stop seeing
good in other people around us, we lose the ability to be good ourselves. But, the
moment we realize that the enemy is not outside but inside us, the real battle
begins. :)
One key contributing
aspect to our own jihad journey is our own sohba. Sohba does not only mean our
own best friends, but it also include our family, acquaintances, coworkers, spouses, children, siblings, or many others. As John Rohn says 'You are the average of the five people you spend
the most time with.' Surrounding ourselves with good people
is important. Good people bring out the good in people. Good people aren't
saints, or at least they don't have to be. They are simply the people who
inspire you to be a better person.
May Allah
bless us a righteous sohba. I know how it feels and it is difficult, but I hope
that seeing the bad in people can only inspire each of us to hold onto the
good, and to aspire to raising pious children who will be good examples
and good company for others one day who feel like how you do right
now. This is not to say that good people don't exist. I do believe that
there are those ones out there as good as each of us, who are saying the same
thing "is there no one like me in this world?" This how the world is
balanced. :) If there are no good people, then there must be ones who are not
good yet but have the desire and are striving to be good one day. But if
good people give up like I did a week ago, and abandon their good peers, we
will all be lost within our own jihad battles alone.
Remember
Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) hadith 'None of you will (truly) believe until you
love for your brother what you love for yourself.' A true meaning of
selflessness. I feel that when we hear these sayings we understand them at a
basic level which makes them seem easy to do. The saying above is equivalent to
the Golden rule that we all know: “treat others the way you want to be
treated”. But there is a much deeper, almost profound, meaning to the saying. To
fully understand and implement the saying above, we have to love everything you
have and love, for every single person in the world. And not only that, but you
have to actively try, as best you can, to provide the things you have and love
to everyone else on this planet. In other words, if you are trying to be good,
then help your friends to be good too. No one is expecting any of us to save
the world. But at the same time, each of us must do their part, to the best of
their abilities and with the resources we have.
اللهُم
الهداية للحق و الثبات في الارض و يوم العرض. اللهُم صحبة سوّية صالحة تشدُد من
أزرنا و نُشركها في أمرنا.
