I saw a friend couple of days ago. It has been a while. We forget each
others’ names. But it did not matter because deep inside the feeling still
remained the same! A friend is always a friend, right? Well, not exactly! It is only when
you reach a crisis point in your life that you find out just who your true
friends are, when you reach out for support during your darkest days and find
that they are still there to support you.
It is interesting to think about how we make people who used to be
everything into nothing again. How we learn to forget. How we force forgetting.
Grief is a faster teacher than joy – but what does it mean when you cycle out
to being strangers again? You never really stop knowing each other in that way.
Maybe there is no choice but to make them someone different in your mind, not
the person who knew your anxieties, what made you cry and how much you
cherished their existence in your life.
You may believe that you have wide circle of friends, but when times
comes that the socializing has to come to an end and instead of sending out
outing invitations you are issuing requests of help and support, just see how
many answer the call. By the end of the process you should consider yourself
lucky if you can count the friends that are left on one hand and truly blessed
if you need both hands to count them.
When our lives revolve around someone or group of friends, they do not
just stop doing so even if all that is left is some semblance of their memory.
There are always those bits of good and very bitter memories that remain. Where
were those friends when you needed them?! Why did they turn their backs on
you?!! Why now?!! How could they leave you alone trying to gather yourself?! We
all eventually find ourselves standing in the checkout line, stumbling on one
of the things we used to do together, the moments they turned their back on us and
realizing that we are revolving around them again. And maybe we never stopped!
Maybe it is just that we are all at the centers of our own little
universes, and sometimes they overlap with other people’s just at the wrong
times, and that small bit of intersection leaves some part of it changed. The
collision can wreck us, change us and shift us. Sometimes we merge into one,
and other times we rescind because the comfort of losing what we thought we
knew wins out.
Either way, it is inevitable that you grow. That you are left knowing
that much more about friendship and what it can do. Whether or not that
emptiness will ever again include that friend who made it that way … I do not
know. Whether or not anybody else can match the outline of such friend ... I do
not know that either.
We all start as strangers. The choices we make in terms of friendship
are usually ones that seem inevitable anyway. We find similar souls made of the
same stuff ours are. We find classmates and partners and neighbors and family
friends and cousins and sisters and our lives intersect in a way that makes
them feel like they could not have ever been separate. But, we are all just waiting for
another universe to collide with ours, to change what we cannot
ourselves.
We all start as strangers, but we forget that we rarely choose who ends
up a stranger too.
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| Source: Thought Catalog |
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